Women who have been burnt over and over will be quick to tell you that men do not know what it means to love. They may even go as far as to say men only love the sex they can get but not the person. This notion is triggered by the number of broken hearts a man may leave in his wake and how fast he moves on after a break-up, many times not looking back or caring about the pains he has caused. But can a man really love in the true sense of the word? And if so, how can you tell if he truly loves you?
First off, men do love. Just as women do and sometimes even more so. However, they may express this love in a different way than a woman does, but in the end, there are clear signs of where his heart is at. The more time you spend with him, the more you will see that he is not as bad as you may have thought. In fact, studies have shown that a man will say the words ‘I love you’ quicker than a woman and that men have even complained that despite loving a woman their love was not reciprocated.
Men Will Show You When They Are In Love With You
You should note, however, that not all men show their love the same way. Each one will do it differently. So if you were in a relationship before and your partner showered you with gifts every opportunity he got, that does not mean your next partner will do the same. He may be the type who does all he can around the house and takes you out lots as his way of showing he loves you. Yet you may not appreciate his efforts because this is not what you are accustomed to, or may not be your interpretation of love. This points to the truth behind the five love languages and how persons express their love. In these love languages, Dr. Gary Chapman explains that persons receive and perceives love through:
- Words of Affirmation – Saying supportive things to your partner that makes them feel loved
- Acts of Service – Doing helpful things for your partner
- Receiving Gifts – Giving your partner gifts that tell them you were thinking about them
- Quality Time – Spending meaningful time with your partner
- Physical Touch – Body contact like kissing, caressing, touching makes you feel loved by your partner
Therefore, different men will express their love in different ways, just as much as they will interpret love in a different way. So even though men are more conservative they will express their love once they are truly in love with you.
Men Show There Love In Different Ways
Long and short of it all, men will fall in love and go through similar phases of excitement, missing you terribly, wanting to be with you every second of every waking moment, and will even check their phones waiting impatiently for you to call or text, and when you do they will get all excited — just as women do. So while there are a lot of men out there who just want to get you in their beds just to score and brag to their friends, to be fair to them, there are those desperately searching for their soul mate to share their love and to spend their lives with. Seem to me that’s what women also want from a relationship — to love and to be loved in return. So how can you tell if a man is really in love with you?
10 Obvious Signs A Man Is In Love
As mentioned before, different guys will express love differently, but for the most part, they will show some of the signs mentioned here. Love is love whether you are a man or woman, how you express that love is the only difference between the sexes. So here are some signs a man is in love. But while not all signs will apply to one person, if he is in love you should notice at least three of the signs on the list below!
1. He Tells you that he loves you.
Yes, ladies, a man can tell you that he loves you simply because he feels that is what you want to hear, or because he wants to get in your pants. After all, words are like the wind. Right? However, the way he says it and what he does after he says those words will determine if he is indeed saying it because he means it. For example, if he tells you he loves you in the middle of making love or while you are into some real heated make-out session then no, don’t believe him. He loves the way you are making him feel at that moment, and that can easily be confused with love. This is especially true if you never hear those words again until you are back in the sack! Come next few days or weeks and you do not even receive a text to ask how your day is going. If however, you are sitting on the park bench having a conversation about his life growing up and he suddenly holds your hands, look deep into your eyes, and tells you he loves you — he does!
If He Loves You He Will Tell You
2. He opens up to you.
Men are very guarded when it comes to relationships and their emotions. Maybe it’s the way they were brought up to be tough and always macho. Or maybe because they feel opening up will make them appear soft and less of a man, but whatever the reason, if he opens up to you and tells you about his abusive childhood, or fears that he has, or growing up poor and struggling to get to where he is now — you know, unexpected things that men do not usually talk about, then that is a sign he is smitten!
3. He finds silly excuses to be with you.
If he loves you he will want to be with you — all the time. If you find that he has been finding silly excuses to come around and enjoys being in your company then he may very well be in love with you.
4. He is not afraid to be himself around you.
A number of relationships are built on pretense. Both men and women will pretend to be someone they are not in an effort to impress the other person. This prevents them from being themselves. A relationship built on pretense never goes far. So if a man is being himself around you, no mask worn, then he sees you as someone he would like to be with in the long run. Being himself means allowing himself to be vulnerable to your knowledge of who he really is and is a big step for him. If he is willing to make himself vulnerable to you, then chances are he has fallen for you.
If He Loves You He Finds Silly Excuses To Be With You
5. He gives you preferential treatment.
If you are out together with friends and he ensures he gets your drinks, stands by your side all night, and keeps asking if you are ok. Then when it is all over he walks you to your car or offers to drive you home then there is definitely a special interest. If this is consistent behavior where he finds you in any crowd and gives your preferential treatment then chances are he is smitten!
6. He behaves differently around you.
If he is usually a confident man who commands respect and attention when he walks into a room, yet the moment he is around you he is all clumsy and falling over himself then that means he is pretty nervous around you. Being nervous is a sign he is falling in love or is already there!
7. He calls and texts regularly.
You do not have to wonder what he is doing or who he is doing it with, because he calls and text you regularly just to chit chat and tell you what he is doing and where he is without being asked. He ensures he asked how your day is and is willing to do whatever you like just to make it better for you. This means he has developed an attachment to you and wants you to be that special person in his life that he can share the simple things and the big things with. Not only that, but he genuinely wants to know that you are doing well as your happiness is his mission.
If He Loves You He Calls And Texts Regularly
8. He buys you gifts.
No, he is not trying to buy your love. In fact, love already exists and he is showing it to you with the love language of gift-giving. This is his way of letting you know that he thinks of you a lot. In fact, whenever he goes out and sees something that reminds him of you he decides to buy it even though it’s not your birthday or any special occasion. He just wants to give you something he feels will be meaningful to you thus making you happy. This is his love language.
9. He misses you lots and tells you so.
It is obvious you two have developed a bond with each other. You have been thinking about him a lot but you are not sure how he feels. Yet, he calls you quite often and despite the fact that you saw him earlier in the day, he tells you he is missing you and wishes you were with him watching a movie or on a bike ride, out to dinner, etc. He is always telling you he misses you and will grab every chance he gets to come to see you.
10. He starts really dressing up when he comes around.
This is someone you have known for some time now but never really gave him much thought until recently. In fact, there was nothing great about the way he dressed — until now. Now you notice every time you meet, special effort has been placed into his attire and he even asked your opinion on the way you like to see guys dress. Suddenly, his entire wardrobe changed and though he never said it, you knew its because of you. No man will make this effort if they are not into you for more than just a simple friendship. This is a man in love.
A Man In Love Will Miss You Lots And Tells You So
The Not So Obvious Signs He Is In Love With You
1. He is protective
Men are natural protectors. That’s a given fact that no one can dispute. This does not mean however, that they will go around protecting every damsel in distress. In fact, this protective mode never jumps into action unless they feel quite close to someone and have the need to have their backs at all times. If he is protective of you it means he feels close to you which is a less obvious sign you may have stolen his heart.
2. He tries to impress
While this is not one of the more popular ways a woman wants to accept that a man is all into her, he will try to impress her with things he may have done, places he may have visited, and his financial status. This can be a big turn-off to some women, but some men will do this to make you feel that he is well accomplished and you would not lose by getting involved with him. While it may come across as cocky and show off, this is his way of trying to win you over and for you to know that he will take good care of you.
A Man In Love Is Protective
3. He invites you out
When a guy invites you out it’s usually because he likes being in your company, he is really into you, or because he wants to spend time getting to know you. Inviting you out even for a simple coffee could be a not so obvious sign that he is falling for you and wants to be with you.
4. He’s always kind to you
Picture yourself at work and this one guy that no one likes because he’s mean to just about everyone around him, yet whenever he is around you is the sweetest soul you ever met. He never smiles with his other coworkers but goes out of his way to not only sit beside you in staff meetings but is quite friendly and chatting, even making real jokes about random things that have you laughing out loud and disturbing the meeting — much to the curiosity of others. If a guy is always kind to you for no particular reason, but mean to everyone else, then this too is a not so obvious sign that he is into you.
5. He’s jealous for no reason
It is believed that being jealous in a relationship is a bad thing. But what about if he is jealous though you are not in a relationship, isn’t that even worse? Well, it could be that in his mind he thinks about you so much that you already share a relationship, and to an extent, you belong to him. Thus, he hates the idea of having someone else hitting on you. When this happens it makes him jealous as he feels you should be doing stuff with him that you may be doing with these other guys. If a guy seems jealous of you it may be another not so obvious sign he has fallen for you.
A Man In Love May Be Jealous For No Reason
6. He does not approve of your male friends
All this time you only thought of him as a friend who is always there for you and that you can hang out with at any time. In fact, he is the one person that you can tell about your crushes and who asked you out, etc. But then one day you suddenly realize that though he is supposed to be your friend — maybe even your best friend, he never liked any of the guys you go out with but instead always talks bad about them. He even starts asking questions like ‘what if you had a best friend who was in love with you?’ Maybe he wants to tell you something… how could you not have seen this before?
Simple Things Usually Overlooked When A Man Is In Love
1.) The way he looks at you
One of the ways to tell that a man is in love with you is how he looks at you compare to the way he looks at others. This is a simple sign that is often overlooked by you though it may be seen by his friends. It’s that gentle gaze in his eyes when he looks at you from across the room or that stare that you feel piercing your back that forces you to turn around and catches his eyes just in time before they are quickly diverted — only to return the moment you turn away again. Or it’s the way he stares into your eyes when you are having a casual conversation as if he never wants to look anywhere else because you are the only person in the world right now.
The Way He Looks At You Can Tell If He Is In Love
2.) His shy behavior
He is not usually a shy guy. In fact, he is one of the boldest persons you know. Yet, when he is alone with you it is obvious he is so shy that he can hardly get a full sentence out without choking, and the moment you try to make eye contact he looks away in an attempt to not look you in the eyes.
3.) Always staring at you
On the other hand, he may be the very opposite, always staring at you as if he never wants to take his eyes off you for fear you disappear. He always tries to make eye contact and if you do, he holds your gaze until you decide to look away. If he decides to look away first it’s only to have him give you that stare again seconds later. But it’s one of those stares that instead of finding it creepy you find yourself smiling inside because it excites you.
4.) Lost for words
He is usually quite fluent in speech but whenever you are around he is technically lost for words. So much so that it is quite evident to his friends who teases him about it and in defense all he does is blushes.
If He Is Always Staring At You, He May Be In Love
5.) He cannot think straight
An obvious sign he is into you and may even have fallen head over heels is that he cannot think straight when you are around. This usually shows itself in the ‘stupid’ things he says and sometimes finds himself apologizing over and over, and telling you he didn’t know why he just said that. He may even develop a stutter as his adrenaline rush takes over his thoughts.
In conclusion:
Men fall in love too! Don’t be fooled by their macho persona and serious expressions. When a man falls it is sometimes harder than a woman. If they find you to be someone they can trust and be comfortable with, then you will have them clinging to you for a very long time! And even though they may not tell you as often that they love you, read it in the signs they give off.
