Sometimes we find oursleves turning to friends asking questions that we may have been mulling over but not able to get an answer to. But sometimes even our friends cannot help us. And so we may want to ask our doctors but is afraid to do so out of embarrassment. As a result these questions are often left unanswered. Dont worry, you are not alone. There are many questions that both men and women worldwide would love to ask but may be afraid to do so. Here experts answer some of those questions for you.
How do I find the G-spot?
The G-spot is a small area about two inches inside and on the front wall of the vagina. It’s about the size of a quarter and may feel a bit more rubbery than the surrounding tissue. It’s made from erectile tissue and will swell up and enlarge with stimulation.
Finding the G-spot will occur as you reach into the vagina two or three inches from the opening, on the interior wall. To find the G-spot, use your index finger to feel for an area that has a rougher texture.
When you’re up to about the second knuckle you should feel a slightly bumpy or ridged area on the upper wall of the vagina. If you press and pull forward there should be some stimulation. However, not all women get pleasure from this area so you may have found the G-spot but have no reaction to it. This is because your turn on point may be somewhere else. Like the outside of the clitoris for example. Therefore, if you do not respond to the area designated as the G-spot do not worry, your ‘g-spot’ or pleasure point may be elsewhere. You are quite normal!
Is it safe if you suckle on a pregnant/nursing mom’s breast during sex?
Breast stimulation can release oxytocin, which is the same hormone that causes uterine contractions during labor, therefore mothers who are at risk of delivering prematurely may want to limit the amount of suckling that takes place during the last trimester.
However, this is very rare as it takes a lot of stimulation to induce labor. After pregnancy, suckling on the breast is harmless and babies don’t mind sharing at all. Many dads do like the taste of breast milk so there should be plenty to go around to satisfy both!
Why does milk come from my breast even though I’m not pregnant?
“Any abnormal discharge from the breast needs evaluation by a doctor to make sure there is no serious problem in the breast, or it could be a small pituitary (part of the brain) tumor. The milky discharge may occur if recently breastfeeding or pregnant.
Excess squeezing of the breast can also lead to a milky or clear discharge. Colored discharges, especially bloody, are sinister and must be evaluated,” gynecologist at the University Hospital of the West Indies, Jamaica, Professor Horace Fletcher said.
The production and extraction of breast milk is controlled by the pituitary gland. If you are taking certain medications, this can influence hormone production of the pituitary gland. If the hormone level is high, the production of breast milk will increase.
How do I know that I’ve had an orgasm?
Orgasm itself begins with strong vaginal muscle contractions. These contractions can be finished within four seconds or last up to about 15 seconds.
They tend to occur at intervals of 0.8 seconds. Also, the inner two-thirds of the vagina usually opens up even more, while the uterus contracts.
During orgasm, skin flushing generally reaches its maximum. Muscles may keep contracting, while blood pressure, heart rate, and the respiratory rate continue to rise. Rhythmic muscle contractions occur in the outer third of the vagina, the uterus, and anus. The first muscle contractions are the most intense and occur at a rate of about one per second. As the orgasm continues, the contractions become less intense and occur at a more random rate. Other body muscles may contract during orgasm, not just those in the pelvic area. Some women will emit or spray some fluid from their urethra during orgasm. This is often called female ejaculation. At the peak of orgasm, the entire body may become momentarily rigid. A mild orgasm may have three to five contractions, intense orgasm 10 to 15.
Will my cycle change after getting a new partner?
According to Professor Fletcher: “No, it will not usually change. However, if the new man comes with stress, your cycle can change. This can cause you to miss a period. The new man may also get you pregnant when the old one could not.”
When is the best time to get pregnant? When am I most fertile? How do I calculate this?
“The woman’s most fertile period is two to three days before and after she ovulates,” Dr Loxley R Christie, obstetrician/gynecologist at the University Hospital in Jamaica explained. “Women generally ovulate 14 days before the START of her next period. If she has a 28-day cycle, this equates to day 14 after the START of her period. If she has a 21-day cycle, this equates to day seven.
A fairly simple formula for the approximate date of release of the egg is (ovulation=cycle length – 14).
Because this is an approximation as well as the fact that sperm and eggs remain functional for several hours after release, having sex every other day for the three to four days before or after the expected date of ovulation will enhance your chances of pregnancy,” he said.
Yet another way to track your fertility is by cervical mucus monitoring. As you approach your most fertile period, the cervical mucous in your vagina changes in consistency and texture. Most women find they produce more cervical mucous that is clear, slippery or stretchy. This is a sign that your cervical mucous is fertile, capable of supporting sperm for several days to help promote conception. Fertile cervical mucous enhances your chances of conceiving successfully.
Does he really want me to talk dirty during sex?
According to a number of men interviewed, they love to have their women talk dirty during sex – just not too much. According to one man: “Yes, but not any curse word, nothing disgusting, but talking is necessary during lovemaking.”
Sex therapist Dr. McGill said the words spoken during lovemaking can be controlled and sex can still be very exciting without the dirty talk.
“It is really not necessary to talk dirty during sex, though you find that it increases the level of anxiety, which in turn increases the gratification,” he said. “But too much (dirty talk) can get you out of control. Sex is an indication of who you truly are, so how you do it determines the real you.”
What’s the story with fetishes? What attracts a man to a woman’s feet?
“It does something to the man,” one man said. “It is a big turn-on, whatever his fetish may be. It is an individual thing.”
How soon after meeting him is it OK to have sex?
“It is a personal choice,” one man said. “If you as the woman feel he won’t respect you if you do it after the first month, then don’t – but that doesn’t mean he will respect you three months down the line when you finally decide to do it. If he is going to respect you, he will, even after doing it on the first date. It really doesn’t make a difference. It is an individual choice.”
However, it is advisable to wait until you have got to know the person, found that you are compatible for each other, and is planning to settle into a long term relationship before even thinking of getting sex in the mix. This saves you the heartache of sharing your most intimate emotion with someone to have them leave you and you find yourself doing it over again with someone else, and then again.
At what age do girls/boys start feeling like experimenting with sex?
Some researchers believe that at age eight children start showing interest in sex. They find interest in peeping, sexual jokes, and provocative giggling. They also whisper, write, or spell sex words.
At age nine they may begin to talk about sex information with friends of the same sex and show interest in details of their own organs and functions. It is therefore important for parents to talk to their children at this age rather than have them explore on their own.
At what age do people lose the desire for sex?
Women’s sexuality changes as they grow older, but the reality is that women can stay as tuned in to their senses and remain as sensual as they want to be. For a woman, a healthy libido tends to be experienced as being receptive. She responds to her partner, but her libido is less assertive. Over time in long-term relationships, women tend to become less spontaneous in their desire and less interested in initiating sexual activity.
Similarly, as a man ages, his ability to have sex (though not his desire) changes. The quality of his erections may diminish, and he may not be able to have an erection as frequently as when he was younger.
These changes are normal, but they can cause a lot of distress. For both men and women, sexuality and libido can stay an important and enjoyable part of life.
Does sex make you happier?
“Sex is an instant cure for mild depression,” one study showed. “It releases the body endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.”
Professor Fletcher said sex can obviously make you happier if sex is good and relatively uncomplicated (no pain, no STIs, No pregnancy – if you are not trying – and no fights with a third party).
“Good sex releases endorphins which make you feel better (these are hormones in the body similar to morphine),” he said. “Good exercise can have a similar feel-good effect but probably to a lesser extent for some people.”
If I have sex with someone who is not the baby’s father while pregnant, will this harm the baby?
“You may get a STI which can harm the baby,” Dr. Fletcher explained. “Syphilis can cause serious problems for the unborn baby. Gonorrhea and Chlamydia can cause eye infections in the newborn and HIV can cause serious problems for the newborn as well. But, he said, physical harm during sex is not common unless the woman has a low placenta (placenta Praevia) where she may bleed severely or have an incompetent cervix where she may lose the pregnancy.
What is the number one sexual position for men/women?
While persons will like different things, of eight women questioned, five confessed to preferring doggy style, one 69 and two confessed to not having a number one. The men interviewed said that any position would do!
Why does he fall asleep after sex?
According to sex experts, an orgasm literally changes a man’s body chemistry. Combine that with the physical exertion of sex – chances are, most men will fall asleep right after.
“Sex is physical exercise and an orgasm also exercises the muscles in the body. Most often both people fall asleep as they probably had a rough day and were tired to start with,” Professor Fletcher said.
What’s that strange noise? What causes ‘down there’ noises during sex?
“This is called Garrulitas Vulvae (the talking vagina),” Professor Fletcher said. “This results from air entry into the vagina during sex.”
Do women really have sex with their hearts, while men have sex with their heads?
In the Sex and the Modern Woman report, it shows that the vast majority of mature women believe that sex is the cement that binds together men and women in enduring, loving relationships.
Other studies show that during sex, women produce lots of oxytocin, a hormone that stimulates a strong emotional connection. As a result, women are more emotionally integrated when it comes to sex. That’s why casual sex and hook-ups often backfire for lots of women. Men produce little to no oxytocin, and can easily have sex without any sense of emotional connection.
Another finding of tests done during open brain surgery was that the brain’s activity (number of synapses firing) in the corpus callosum that connects the left and right side of the brain is much higher in women than in men. That means women get more contribution to their overall thinking from the right side of the brain which has more emotion and subconscious functionality than men.
Explain the ‘blue balls’ theory.
‘Blue balls’ is a slang term referring to testicular aching that may occur when the blood that fills the vessels in a male’s genital area during sexual arousal is not dissipated by orgasm.
My penis is 4 inches long. Does she really feel anything or is she just pretending?
Studies show that the average human penis is approximately five to 5.9 inches in length and the typical girth or circumference is approximately 4.85 inches when fully erect.
Sex therapist Dr. Sidney McGill says the size of a man’s penis matters if his female sex partner has had prior experiences with multiple sexual partners of various penis sizes and if pleasure is associated with the size.
“Size is only one aspect of sexual fulfillment and it alone does not guarantee sexual satisfaction,” he said. “Vaginal stimulation, via penile thrusting again is only one form of stimulation. Most women reach their orgasm by direct stimulation of the clitoris, in other words, sexual knowledge and performance play a much greater role than penis size.”
According to sex researchers and therapists, the most sensitive area of the female genitals includes the vulva, clitoris, and the section of the vagina closest to the outside of a woman’s body, which is roughly four inches in length. Given that the average penis size is above this length, the majority of penises are long enough to satisfy their partners.
