How To Identify That You Are In a One-Sided Relationship
It is quite easy to identify whether or not you are in a one-sided relationship. The key is to be honest with yourself and not make excuses for your partner should you see the signs below.
› You are the one putting in all the effort.
The clearest sign is that of you having to shoulder all the responsibilities in your relationship while he sits around doing nothing. You are the one who goes out to work, you are the one paying the bills, doing the grocery, making appointments, and think about what is best for the relationship. His contribution is simply agreeing with your decisions or inputting when it benefits him directly.
You Are In A One-Sided Relationship If You Are the Only One Putting In All The Effort
› He’s selfish in the bedroom.
When it comes to intimacy, it is all about him being satisfied. In the bedroom, you end up being the giver and pleaser but not getting any satisfaction in return. In fact, he wants you to do things that you would otherwise not consider but you still do because he made it clear that is what would make him happy. However, the moment you mention trying something that you like and that would please you, he blatantly told you he is not into that. He is always the receiver to all those tender loving care you have been dishing, and if you even ask for a foot rub after a hard day at work, he promises to do it later — only later never comes.
› He complains when you ask him to do you a favor.
You always have him first and foremost in your thoughts. If you go to the grocery you pick up things you know he would like and not what you love. In preparing meals you prepare dishes he likes and not what you would prefer. You are always doing his laundry, running his errands, etc., et when you ask him to do you a favor he complains before/without doing it.
You Are In A One-Sided Relationship If You Have Different Priorities
› He forgets your birthday.
He forgets your birthdays but starts dropping hints as to what he wants for his birthday months in advance.
› Everything is about him and not about ‘us’.
Even His very speech seems one-sided. In making plans it is always about him and not about ‘us’. Thus he never really has your feelings at heart and never really thinks about you as a couple. His future plans are of himself and not the two of you together. Definitely one-sided.
› You have different priorities.
While couples will have things they do together and things they do separately, for the most part, the majority of the plans should coincide. So while you spend your money on bills and taking care of the everyday running of the home, he spends his money on his car, buying mag rims and pimping it out as he desires. Or if he has a free day he thinks of spending it with his friends and not with you. Thus any plans to do things together have to be made by you and even then he does not show any interest in doing them.
You Are In A One-Sided Relationship If Your partner is too laid back
› Your partner is too laid back.
Sometimes the best signs are no signs. So if you find that your partner is too laid back where responsibilities are concerned then your relationship is one-sided. Couples have to shoulder responsibilities together to make for a healthy balance union unless you had the discussion and agreed one person would do so and why.
› You only hear from them when they need something from you.
If you are not living together but you only hear from them when they want something, then for sure your relationship is one-sided. People on equal grounds will want to know that their partner is well and will keep in touch as much as possible to confirm this. If they only call to ask you to pick something up or bring them something or when they want sex, then that speaks for itself.
› You enjoy the time spent with them, but…
The few times you actually spend with them is quite enjoyable. The only issue there is that after you have parted company you feel so lonely and empty and you cannot explain why. This means there was really no connection as you were the one pleasing your partner and not having the feeling reciprocated. Thus you were not made to feel special and appreciated even though you were in each other’s company.
You Are In A One-Sided Relationship If He’s All About ‘Me’
Disadvantages Of A One-Sided Relationship
There are a number of disadvantages to being in a one-sided relationship.
- The relationship can become a burden to the person shouldering the bulk/all of the responsibilities.
- There will be constant quarreling in the relationship.
- The person with the bulk of the responsibilities may seek help outside of the union, which oftentimes leads to an affair.
- Persons grow apart from each other over time.
- Resentment will build within the person who is always giving of themselves and never receiving.
- You feel obligated to stay in the relationship after doing so much as you feel you have invested much into it to leave now.
- The other person becomes too dependent on you and you begin to think of them as nothing more than a child.
- You can lose respect for them.
- You are unsure of the relation and wonders if and when they will call you or if you should text or call.
- Your relationship feels like way too much work, and one that you are not being compensated for.
There Are Many Disadvantages to Having a One-Sided Relationhip
What To Do If You Are In A One-Sided Relationship
The first advice if you have found yourself in a one-sided relationship is to talk about it — Maybe your partner does not mean to have you do it all, but because you are a go-getter you took on the responsibilities on without even realizing it until they have overwhelmed you. Weird as this may sound, your partner may even have felt you enjoyed taking the lead, and out of love and respect allowed you to.
On the other hand, if it is something you have talked about or even argued about over and over and there has been no improvement, then it may be that they are not getting it. Either because they don’t know better, or they don’t want to know better. The situation is extremely bad if they are enjoying the non-role they are playing in the relationship, and has fallen into a comfort zone.
Share Responsibilities to Prevent A One-Sided Relationship
If they are comfortable having you do it all then it will be difficult to get them out of that mindset. As a result, it may be time for some hard decisions. Follow these steps below:
— Make a list of all your responsibilities in the relationship that makes you feel pressured.
— Talk about them and how it makes you feel with your partner and suggest that you both share the responsibilities. Ask which they would like to share and if there is uncertainty on their part, suggest what you think they should do from that list.
— No matter how tempting it is to take back the responsibilities from your partner if they did not do them in a timely fashion — don’t. This will only push you back to square on. Let it play out and for them to realize the outcome if those things that they are responsible for don’t get done.
— Discuss the lack of emotional and sexual satisfaction that you are feeling. Suggest a compromise. What you are willing to do and what you think they should do that would make you happy.
— If there are no changes on their part within three months or so, then it is time to suggest counseling. If they are not willing you may have to decide if this is the union you would like. You may need counseling on your own to make that decision and figure out where you would like to go from there regarding the relationship.
You Can Change Your One-Sided Relationship
