Sometimes the signs are there — as clear as day! The only problem is that we refuse to see them, or maybe we see them but choose to ignore them. Some have instead allowed themselves to suffer needlessly as they try desperately to beat that dead horse back to life! But from all indication, that relationship will not work out and it may just be time to let it go. So what are the surefire signs your relationship will not work?
Lack of communication
Lack of communication is one of the biggest problems in a relationship that is going done hill. Fortunately, if this is the only issue the relationship faces, then it is no indication that the relationship will not work out. Lack of communication can be solved by the couple identifying the issue and deciding to work on better communication skills. The issue with this problem is that a number of other issues can result if it is not dealt with as soon as it is spotted. Lack of communication can actually lead to many other issues in the relationship which in turn can kill the union. It is in talking that you get to know each other and identify and solve issues that may arise.
A Sign Your Relationship Will Not Last is Lack Of Communication
Lack of Interest
If after a period of time you find that you have outgrown the other person then it may be time to rethink where you want to head in your relationship. Not only should you be interested in the person but also in things that interest and have special meaning to them. If this is no longer the case then its a sign that your relationship will not work.
Little Or No Attraction
It is near impossible to be involved with someone you are not physically attracted to. I mean, it has happened thousands of times — in arranged marriages, or unions where one person is more interested in other things like their partner’s money, status, to get citizenship, etc. But if you are in a relationship that you were once attracted to the other person for who they are and couldn’t wait to be with them, but now find yourself not wanting to be around them, or find that the sight of them repulses you…then it’s a sign your relationship won’t work.
A Sign Your Relationship Will Not Last is Lack Of Attraction
Lack Of trust
Trust is very important in any healthy relationship. If you no longer trust your partner for whatever reason, or your partner does not trust you, then your relationship is in trouble of falling apart. Trust is one of the hardest things to regain in a relationship once it has been damaged. See How To Stop Being Insecure In Your Relationship — Demo Day! or How To Gain Back Your Ex Trust — Real Story!
Too Many Conflicts
Once upon a time, you had a really good relationship. Now you just cannot seem to see eye to eye on anything and your environment is a constant battlefield. Each time you see each other it always ends up in a quarrel. Every time you send them a text or receive one you can just feel the tension behind the words. If this is the case then this is a sure sign your relationship is not working out. Couples should complement and make each other happy, not disgusted.
A Sign Your Relationship Will Not Last is Too Many Conflicts
Obsessively Jealous
If you or your partner is so jealous that it becomes an obsession, you /they have to know the other person’s every move and when this does not happen you/they become abusive sometimes both physically and emotionally, then you are in deep trouble. If you cannot have friends — male or females — and your cell phone is constantly checked, or maybe you are not even allowed to have a phone but is forced to use theirs to talk to your mother once per month. Then your relationship is not going downhill, its already there and you need to get out — fast!
You Are More Interested In Other People
If you find that you have lost interest in your partner, or they have lost interest in you and are more into other people, then that is a sign that emotionally they are moving on or visa versa. They can certainly be interested in other people for reasons that have nothing to do with sexual attraction, but if they are not only sexually attracted to other people but always put those person’s needs above your own, then your relationship will not work. Like they say ‘action speaks louder than words’.
A Sign Your Relationship Will Not Last is If You Are More Interested In Other People
There is no love
Lack of love is for sure a definite sign that your relationship will not last. Love means you will sacrifice for the next person and will do whatever you need to, to ensure their happiness. You will try to be your best self for them and will enjoy providing for that person. Without love, your relationship will not last. So how do you know he does not love you?
Signs He Does Not Love You So Your Relationship Will Not Work!
* Refusing to spend time with you: If he refuses to give you his time and attention then that is a sure sign he does not love you. If you love someone or someone loves you then they cannot wait to spend time with you, and when they are away from you they will constantly be in touch as a substitute. If this is not happening and they find excuses for not spending time with you, whether alone or out on dates, then don’t be fooled, he does not love you and the relationship will not work.
* No Respect: Love comes with respect. That means the way they treat you when you are alone or out in public will reflect this. If on the other hand, he is verbally abusive and insulting, whether alone or with others then he does not love you. Respect means to love and love means they will not do things to hurt your feelings or damage your self-esteem.
Your Relationship Will Not Last If He Doesn’t Love You
* He does not trust you: Trust is a part of loving someone. They have to trust that your action is in the best interest of the relationship, trust your values, trust the decisions you make, and trust the way you feel about them. However, you have to also play your part in living up to that trust. If trust is lacking then love is also lacking.
* Only wants to see you when he wants to have sex: If these are the only times he sees it fit to see you. Then there is no love. He loves the sex with you, but not you. Thus your relationship is doomed to fail as he is only interested in pleasing himself.
* He is possessive: Do not mistake his need to be around you constantly and not allowing you to have friends outside of him as love. It’s controlling. He only wants to control what you do and who you do it with so he can selfishly have you to manipulate. This relationship will not work.
Your Relationship Will Not Last If He Is Possessive
Obvious Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble And Could Be Heading For Divorce
While some relationships are easy to walk away from after finding out that it will not work, marriage are a different affair. It is never easy to walk away from a marriage and it is regarded as a covenanted affair before God. Breaking that covenant is not recommended. However, there are signs that you should look out for to know that your marriage is not only in trouble but that intervention is required.
Here are some obvious signs your marriage is in deep trouble:
The Experts Speak:
Some couples literally disregard the signs that their marriage is in trouble and then it’s too late to save. Trouble in a marriage is like cancer, early detection can lead to effective treatment and a long lifespan. But if you wait until the problems are overwhelming and start spreading to other areas of your life, then it is too late to save.
Signs Your Marriage Is Heading For Divorce
Below the experts on the topic, some divorcees themselves, share some signs that lead to their divorce and signs you should look out for to save your marriage before its too late:
1. “We Basically stopped talking to each other”.
“One thing my ex-husband and I were good at initially was talking. We talked about everything. We were married for almost 17 years and I don’t know exactly when it happened but it was as if we had separate lives and nothing to say to each other anymore. We were sleeping in the same bed, yet we had nothing to talk about,” Linette Byfield, who has been divorced for seven years said. “That was what told me that we were over!”
Her Advice: “The moment you realize communication is going downhill deal with it together.”
2. “He stopped supporting me”.
“My husband would take care of me 100 percent. I would not be in need of anything. He was always there for me. He would say that I was the finance manager and he didn’t care how I spent his money because he knew I was not a spendthrift,” Claudine Murray, divorced for nine years said. “But After a while, I noticed he would give me money some of the months and some months he wouldn’t. After a while, he started giving me less and less until he wasn’t giving me at all. When I asked him about it he would get mad and told me it was his money and he was free to do with it what he wanted. The bills began to pile up and I just could not take it anymore. That was when I realized something was drastically wrong and that he had made a 360 degrees turn. Everything went downhill from there and gradually we grew apart because I just could not bother with the countless arguments anymore. I suspected that he had some other woman in his life and she was getting his money. I guess I was right because a few months after we broke up he moved in with another woman in the community and asked me for a divorce.”
Her Advice: “The moment you realize his usual pattern has changed, confront him. Maybe if I didn’t wait so long things wouldn’t have got that far. I gave him too much rope and he hung himself with it. Men need guidance, especially when it comes to money.”
3. “We weren’t having sex anymore”.
Anther divorcee, Kerry-Lee Bent said after countless refusal by her husband to have sex with her, she knew something was wrong in her marriage.
“I have never heard of a man refusing to have sex with his wife for three to four months at a time. That would mean one of three things — either he was sick; he had some other woman that he was doing it with; or he was not attracted to me anymore. The sick part I could deal with as we could work it out together. But when I asked he told me he was fine and that he was just tired — even if he stayed home for two weeks straight he still used the tired line. So that is how I knew my marriage was in trouble. When I told him maybe we should seek counseling he blatantly told me he was not going to any stranger to talk about his business. We have been divorced four and a half years now.”
Her Advice: “As a woman, you can do so much and no more. But ensure that you do your very best. Put on the sexiest lingerie and try to coax him back into your bed. The fact is that if a man wants to cheat no matter what you do he will cheat anyway. But make sure that at the end of it all your conscience is clear that you did your best.”
4. “We argued constantly.”
We lived like cats and dogs — we would argue constantly for just about everything. After 11 years of marriage it was as if we could not stand each other,” Stella Bryan recalled. “The only time we did not argue is when we were not around each other. In fact, I enjoyed every moment he was not home. Sometimes I prayed he would find somewhere to go and just don’t come home. We just couldn’t stand each other and to be honest, I was just as guilty. We didn’t need a microscope to realize our marriage was over.” She has been divorced for four years.
Her Advice: “If you want your marriage fight for it. I let mine go to the point where I just didn’t want it anymore. That was the problem. If I had sought counseling when the argument just started, or maybe even sat with my husband and talked quietly about things and how it was affecting the marriage maybe it wouldn’t have got to the point of divorce.”
5. “I cheated.”
My husband and I grew apart after 21 years of marriage. I got bored and he was just not satisfying my needs anymore. Then I met someone younger than him and I felt as if my life had just begun. My husband found out I was cheating and the arguments were endless. Two and a half years later we were divorced. I won’t lie and tell you it was his fault. It really wasn’t. But I needed more than he was able to offer me at the time,” Marcia L said.
Her Advice: “I regret cheating. Looking back I should have told my husband I was bored and try to do things together to spice up our marriage. I let 21 years of my life go down the drain and for what? The person I cheated with is long gone, and it’s too late to get my husband back. He was a really good man and didn’t deserve what I put him through.”
6. “He was too controlling”.
“I saw the signs before we got married five years ago, but to be honest it was flattering at the time. He was always around and didn’t want me to do anything without him,” Carlene J. said. “Back then I just thought he was very attentive and caring. But months after we were married I realize it was much more than that. It was like I was living in prison. He did not want me to have friends, he didn’t want me to go anywhere, and he didn’t even want me to talk to my own family! It was all about him. One day I was on the phone with my sister and he grabbed it and broke it in two. That was when I realized I could not live like that. I got out and went to live with my mother and I never looked back”. Carlene, who separated from her husband less than three years after they were married said.
