Sometimes you can see the signs as clear as day — your relationship is heading towards an unwelcome breakup!
And while it is a fact that some relationships are very toxic, unhealthy, and not worth saving, there are other very good relationships that you know you want to hold on to — maybe even forever. However, you can see the issues arising and want to do whatever you can to save it. The good news is that once you recognize that things are not the way they should be in your relationship then it is indeed possible to save it before that breakup happens.
The first step in saving a relationship that is heading for a breakup is to identify the signs. Pinpoint the reasons you think it is heading for a breakup. Here are some clear signs to look out for to confirm your relationship is in dire trouble:
There Are Signs To Let You Know Your Relationship Is Heading For a Breakup
Signs your relationship is heading for a breakup
1.Significant breakdown in communication
2. lack of attraction
3. Your partner is showing interest in someone else
4. Spending less and less time together
5. You are no longer doing things together
6. You do not share dreams or future plans together anymore
7. You argue more than you enjoy each other’s company
8. Your partner is becoming more and more unreachable emotionally and physically
9. They are not willing to work out obvious problems
10. They have a ‘don’t care attitude’ towards the relationship
12. You get easily annoyed with everything they do or vice versa
13. You are happier when they are not around
There Are Many Signs Your Relationship Is Heading For a Breakup
Signs you should save your relationship
Now that you have seen and identified the signs that something is wrong in your relationship and that you are growing apart, you can feel the panic and uncertainly stepping in. But more than anything you want your relationship to work. You remember the good times you shared. You remember the intimacy. You remember the plans you both had for the future and simply put — you love the two of you together. You cannot see yourself with someone else. So despite what is happening, how can you be sure that you want to save your relationship?
1. You are still in love with your partner.
Despite the issues affecting your relationship, you are still so in love with your partner that when you think about them it makes you want to cry for no apparent reason. When they are not around you miss them so much that you cannot wait to see them. And when they are around, despite the arguments, you do not want them to leave. In fact, you feel it is better to have them around to argue with than not to have them around at all.
If You Are Still In Love With Your Partner, You Should Save Your Relationship
2. You cannot see your future without them.
An obvious sign you should save your relationship is that you cannot see your future without them. You still want to go places and do things with them that you cannot see yourself doing with anyone else. The trips that you talked about in the past you still want to do with them. In fact, they are the only one you can see yourself getting married to and having children with.
3. You think about things you did together and it makes you smile and gives you a warm feeling inside.
No matter how angry you feel regarding his attitude towards you and the relationship, you cannot help but smile and feel all fuzzy inside when you think about how you met and the crazy things you did together in the initial stages of your relationship.
Save Your Relationship If You Cannot See Your Future Without Them
4. You are not one to walk away when things get rough.
You believe in ‘for better or worse’ and feel no matter how rough the relationship gets you are willing to work through it and see it back to where you know it can be. You are willing to do just about anything to restore your relationship because you know your partner is worth the effort.
5. You went out with someone else and all you did was compare them with your partner.
You got mad and decided that your relationship was not worth saving. You decided to go out for a night to unwind with some guy who had his eyes on you for years, only to realize that all you could do all night was compare him to your partner. That only brought to the forefront of your mind the fact that you really do not want to be with anyone else but him. In fact, that was your confirmation point that no matter what, you will fight for your relationship.
You Are Not One To Walk Away When Things Get Rough
How to stop a breakup from happening before it happens
1. Identify and face the issues affecting your relationship
The first step in stopping a breakup from happening before it actually does is to identify the issues affecting your relationship. You cannot make changes if you do not know what to change. You cannot make changes in yourself if you don’t acknowledge where you are going wrong. Neither can you point out issues in the relationship to your spouse if you do not know what they are.
2. Confirm if you both want to save your relationship
If you identify with some or all the signs above that you want to save your relationship, then you will be more willing and determine to stop the breakup before it happens.
Identify The Issues Affecting Your Relationship
3. Have a serious talk about your relationship and what you both want from it.
If your partner is not aware of the issues you may want to sit him down and point these out to him. While you point them out give reasons for your concern and ask if he has been noticing the signs that your relationship is heading for breakup too. If he admits to them then it will be easier for you to work out the issues together. If he says he has no clue what you are talking about and that it is all in your mind then you will have a harder task ahead of you. As mentioned above, the first move to change and correcting a wrong is identification and acknowledgment. As a result, give examples of each area you see a concern. He may be more willing to accept if he has examples presented to him. Ask where he sees your relationship going and if he is still serious about both of you together. However, be prepared for any answer. In fact, brace yourself beforehand to hear anything — including that he does not want the relationship. Thus, going into the conversation will be nerve-racking for you but the alternative is sitting around daily waiting for ‘when’ your relationship will end. After all, that is where you saw it going. The good thing, however, is that he may be relieved to have this conversation and can’t wait to get things back to where it was and where it ought to be.
Discuss What You Both Want From the Relationship
4. Acknowledge why you got together in the first place and why you fell in love
Talk about good times you had in the past, remind him of how and why you fell in love, and what you loved about him. Ask questions often just so he is fully involved and you are not the only one doing all the talking and trying to resolve your relationship. After all, you are both in it together.
5. Go back to dating each other
A lot of times people grow apart because they no longer see the need to do things together. They often take each other for granted and before you know it the relationship is in a rut. They no longer see the necessity to date each other — to go out to dinner, to the movies, on long road trips, on hiking, on long walks — all the things you did together during courtship. Now would be a good time to start dating all over again. To surprise him with dinner dates, to take him back to the place you first met, etc. When he sees you putting in the work and being so good to him, the chances of winning him back and having him reciprocate the feeling is great.
Date Each Other All Over Again
6. Spend quality time together.
It cannot be stressed enough the importance of not only going on dates but of spending quality time together. That could mean sitting down going over old photos, turning the stereo on, or asking your smart speaker to play you some romantic music while you hold each other close and dance the evening away. Or even dressing up and having a romantic dinner in. If you have kids, plan a weekend away from home and leave the kids with family or trusted friends. Spend time away to rekindle the flames. Like Millie Jackson suggest in her song – ‘If you’re not back in love by Monday’ — then you may need to go your separate ways. Of course, going away for a weekend is only to pull you closer together.
7. Make him drool over you all over again.
He may be looking outside the relationship at someone that has captured his attention. While this is in no way, shape or form any indication that you are at fault, it could be that you need to go that extra mile to pull his attention back to you. It may be time to bring out those hot numbers sitting at the back of your closet and bring sexy back on the front burner. Sometimes we are so caught up in the everyday cares of life and even the relationship that we are not even aware that we are not putting in the effort in looking out best as when we met. The way you look could very well be the reason he was so crazy about you then — remember men are moved by appearances first and foremost. So change your hair, revisit your closet and make him drool over you all over again. Bring the hotness back!
Spend Quality Time Together To Stop A Breakup Before It Happens
8. Be patient.
It took time for the relationship to have got to the place it is in now, and so it will take time to rebuild it back to where it ought to be. Remember, Rome was not built in a day. As a result, be patient while you put the work in. Even if your partner does not seem appreciative or may not even recognize your efforts, continue working on it anyway. You may get discouraged at times and feel it is not worth it but remind yourself of the reasons you want to save your relationship and press on.
9. Be attentive and shower them with love.
Despite the issues you have identified that is pushing your relationship straight to a breakup, be attentive and loving to your spouse and not argumentative or nagging. Do the things for him you know he loves. Prepare his favorite meal, dress sexy in the house — remind him why he fell for you. If you are not living together send text messages letting him know you are thinking about him and that you cannot wait to see him. Send messages that will have him thinking about you all day. Ask how his day is going, and at the end of the day text to find out if he is ok and have a conversation about the events of the day, etc.
Be Patient And Shower Him With Love As you Work To Stop A Breakup
10. Seek the intervention of a counselor/trusted family member or friend.
Sometimes it takes an independent source to bring things into perspective. Sometimes you try to have a discussion and your partner may think you are nagging and seeing problems where there are none. In fact, they may have become so comfortable in the relationship that the problem is that they have begun to take you and the relationship for granted. If an outside source points things out to them they may be more willing and more prone to accept it. Therefore, if you tried talking to them and there is no change or acceptance then getting someone else involve may be a good idea.