People get involved for different reasons. So hearing that a man is only into you for the sexual gratification you can offer him should be of no surprise. Unfortunately, if you require more from the relationship than just serving as someone’s release point, then it is very important that you know when a man is truly into you for who you are, or if he is into you just for what you can offer in the sack.
There are ways To Tell What A Guy Wants From You. And even though we mention some ways to tell he is only interested in sex in that feature, we want to get deeper into the matter as this is a serious question quite often asked by women around the world.
Know The Signs That He Is Only Into You For Sex
Let’s be clear, some men are born liers ad will lie their way into your bed. There are those that will go to any length to sleep with you and as soon as their mission is accomplished they are gone. Unfortunately, they have been doing it for so long that they would have mastered the art by the time they got around to you. Thus it can be near impossible for you to tell what they are truly after. In fact, you can even confuse the way they treat you with love — especially if they go that extra mile to tell you directly how much they love you. Who wouldn’t fall for that? And to be honest, the nicer you are the more you are prone to be hurt by men like these. So if you are tired of having men in and out of your life who were only interested in you for sex, then there are things you can do to avoid this. One of the greatest weapons is knowing the signs.
Know the signs — he only wants sex!
1. He only calls when he wants sex. Some men are not aware that they are doing this. In fact, it may be a part of their personality, thus it seems quite normal to them. As a result, they do not do it intentionally. You, therefore, have to look out for this and bring it to their attention if needs be. Not that it would change their attitude if they know all they want from you is sex, and for sure they would not admit it. But at least it will make them aware that you are onto them.
He Only Calls When He Wants Sex
2. He never takes you out. If he never takes you out but only meets up at your place or his. And when you do meet up he only wants to get intimate, and as soon as that is over he leaves or tells you you have to go because he has something he has to take care of, then this is a clear indication that you are nothing more than a sex toy to him.
3. He only compliments your boobs, your butt, and your lips. A sure sign a man is only into you for the sex is that while you have so much going on for your — a progressive business you started from scratch, a killer job that rakes in the big bucks, your obvious intelligence, knowledge of the world affairs, or your ability to hold a steaming conversation — he doesn’t notice any of that. All he can see and compliment you on is your butt, your lips, and your boobs. In fact, if you are talking to him his eyes are always focused on your boobs and not on your eyes or anywhere else. Do I need to say what this means?
He Only Compliments Your Boobs, Butt, and Lips
4. He asks for naked pictures. Sigh! It has barely been two weeks that you met. Yet he is asking you to send him pictures of yourself naked, or in the shower, or pictures of what you are wearing or not wearing in bed, and tells you he just wants to look at you. How about looking at your Facebook pictures or pictures of you all dressed up? This is a sure sign it is all sexual to him and if you appease his appetite your ‘relationship’ will only head downhill from there. A relationship built solely on sex never lasts. And for the duration it lasts you will only be feeling lonely and unsure.
5. His ‘getting to know you’ include sex’. He tells you he is not looking for a relationship right now but he wouldn’t mind getting to know you. That sounds all good and right. The only problem with that is, he doesn’t call or have meaning conversations, he does not take you out, he does not reveal himself to you BUT he wants to hop into bed with you. That tells me he only wants to get to know one thing and it ain’t who your smashing personality!
Him ‘Getting To Know You’ Means Having Sex
6. He’s full of excuses. It’s frustrating that you cannot hear from him. Frustrating that he does not call or text. And when you question why, he has all the excuses in the world to offer. In the end, you feel guilty for doubting his reasons for not being in touch. And to make it worse, he has absolutely no remorse for not keeping in touch! Yet when you ask him to come by your place at 6:00 pm to hang out, he asks what you will be wearing and tells you he can be there at 4:00! Honey, he’s got sex on the brain!
7. You do not know his friends and he is not interested in meeting yours. It’s been a few months and you never once met any of his friends. When you suggest you both hang at your bestie’s place or go to a party together that your friends are throwing, he tells you he will be busy — even before you told him what day it will be! Yet when your friend canceled the party due to social distancing, and you ask if he wants to come over, he is at your front door before you could hang up the phone.
He’s Not Interested In Meeting Your Friends
8. He gets angry if you do not want to get intimate. He comes over and wants to get intimate the moment he walks through the door. But you tell him you are not feeling well. He gets mad because you did not tell him before he ‘wasted his time to come over’. When he realizes you are really not feeling well instead of staying to ensure you are taken care of, he leaves and tells you he will see you soon. Sigh. We definitely know where this relationship is going — to bed!
9. Sex is all about him. You thought he was the real thing. So you starting sleeping with him. Only, you get nothing out of the deal. Sex is all about him and what you can do for him in the bedroom. In the end, you are left feeling dissatisfied and yearning. In fact, he asked you to do things you would otherwise not do but when you put in a request it is frowned upon and he asked if you are crazy — that he would never do something like that. Hmmm!
Sex Is All About Him
10. Uses Sex to solve every problem. Each time you have a problem he tells you he doesn’t want o talk about it but that he would rather spend some ‘quality time’ with you. Of course, his idea of quality time is in bed doing what he likes best. All this time you are fuming because the problem affecting you has not been resolved.
11. You really know nothing much about him. You have been together for months and you still have no clue what he likes and dislikes or the type of person he is at heart. Why? Because you never truly have meaningful conversations and he doesn’t talk about himself when you ask. This is definitely not someone you should be sleeping with!
You Do Not Have Meaningful Conversations
Don’t be so eager to sleep with him
Some people will say — and you may even believe it — that there is nothing wrong with ‘casual sex’. I will tell you now… there is no such thing as casual sex! Are there really different types of sex? Really? doesn’t it happen the same way? With the same organs? the term casual sex is just a modern term people use to hop from partner to partner or justify having sex with someone they are not emotionally connected to. The end result is the same — one or both persons have an orgasm and it ends! What’s casual about that?
If you open up yourself to someone and have them walk away without much thought can be emotionally damaging. Value should be placed on sex and the impact it can have on a couple or on one party. This is why it is important that you get to know someone and confirm they are right for you BEFORE you hop into bed. Do not get to know someone, or have someone get to know you by sleeping with them, then getting to know them after. What happens if after you actually get to know them you realize they are not right for you or vice versa? Then you move on to the next person doing the same thing, then the next and the next… see where we are going with this? It should really be the other way around — get to know someone BEFORE you sleep with them. This will save you loads of pain, heartache, and disappointment. Because you are starting a relationship does not mean you need to sleep with him before you get to know him. This opens you up to even further hurt if and when he decides to leave, and of course, you will not have to wonder if he is only into you for the sex.
Do Not Be Eager To Sleep With Him
Is he worth your time and attention?
To save yourself from the heartache, find out if he is worth your time and attention. A number of women get sucked into ‘casual sex’ because they do not understand their worth, their value, and their purpose. Unfortunately, they look for someone to validate them and when this is not forthcoming it causes heartaches leading to depression and low self-esteem. You deserve someone who values you for you. Who will be understanding if you are not well and not feeling up to sex. Someone who challenges your mind and values your opinion. Of course, we do not live in a perfect world but you can find that person with whom you can connect. While you are searching it is better not to be propelled by your need for sex but rather by your need to have someone worthy in your life. This will prevent you from getting sucked into what the world considers casual sex without value. Aim for more — much more!
Confirm If He Worth Your Time, Effort, and Attention
I agree with a comment made by Ravi Chandra M.D., D.F.A.P.A. a San Francisco-based psychiatrist, and writer some time ago in his article Casual Sex: A Psychiatrist Responds | Psychology Today, that “Sex can be very healing – touch is powerful – but it can also be very destructive if one gets stuck on sex as the sole vehicle of intimacy and self-expression.”
What do you want from a relationship — Really?
This is a question that can help you to identify whether or not a man is into you just for sex because his approach and requirement will make you see that he is not on the same page as you are.
Check out the relationship of friends or people you may know who enters into sex casually and see if they are living a happy and satisfying life. Sex should be emotionally satisfying and so you have to be sure of what you want from a relationship before you enter into it.
First Know What You Want From A Relationship
It is important that you value yourself and don’t get sucked into ‘casual sex’ while expecting to be happy and satisfied. The satisfaction may be there for the duration of the act itself, or until the person leaves your company, but is it emotionally satisfying afterward? Are you happy? Is that what you really want from a relationship? Don’t settle for anything less than you truly deserve — and you deserve much more! Bear in mind — a man will treat you the way you allow him to treat you. And they will get away with what you allow them to get away with, so how you present yourself to him initially will determine how he perceives and treats you.
