Texting to get your ex back is like writing a love letter back in the days — only now it reaches in seconds and you don’t have to wait weeks for a response! The fact that you always have your phone close by means you can try to get your ex back anytime, no matter where you are! Isn’t that something?!
Technology has played a big part in many breakups and has a major role in meeting and connecting with Mr or Mrs. Right. It is, therefore, no shocker that while some people may be against the idea of texting to win your ex back — as they believe in the old fashion face-to-face way — there are many advantages to wooing your ex back via text.
You Can Get Back Your Ex Over Text
Advantages Of Texting To Get Back Your Ex
Many times the questions are asked — should I text my ex and try to win them back? Should I just call? Should I meet face to face and explain how I feel?
All are good questions, but whether or not you reach out over text is dependent on a few things. How does your ex feel about texting? Are they usually annoyed when someone tries to discuss something important over text and feel it is better to just call? Or are they the ‘let us have a coffee and chat’ type? You were together so those are questions you would more than likely have the answers to. With this in mind, you would be able to determine if texting is the best route to take.
If however, your ex is very much into their phone and does everything that way, or if they do not mind one way or the other, then by all means texting to win them back is ideal!
There Are Advantages To Texting To Win Back Your Ex
Here are some advantages of texting to win your ex back:
- By their response, you can get an idea of their mood and know if you should pursue the matter further.
- If they refuse your offer to get back together they don’t have to see you break down.
- You don’t have to pretend to be into what they are saying.
- It prevents deciding on a meeting place for a face-to-face conversation.
- It’s not in their face so they can think about it before responding.
- They can reply at their convenience.
- You can reply at your convenience.
- Gives you time to think before responding to them.
- If you were keeping silent after the breakup, texting to win them back may be a welcome change to them! They may have been waiting for months to hear from you.
- If you type something that does not sound exactly the way you like you can delete and rewrite it before pressing send. Face-to-face means once it is said you cannot take it back.
- Texting can be done anytime and from anywhere
Getting Your Ex Back Over Text Is Convenient To Both
Disadvantages of Trying to Win Your Ex Back Via Text
- They can misread the tone of the text.
- If they do not reply immediately it can make you anxious as you may feel ignored.
- You cannot see their expression to tell what they are truly thinking. Sometimes what is written is not what is felt.
- It can backfire on you should you pour your heart out over text.
- They have something in writing to show their friends or even their new significant other how you have been trying to ‘force’ them back with you. This can happen if they no longer have any interest in you.
There Are Disadvantages To Texting To Get Your Ex Back
How To Text to Win Back Your Ex
Now that you have decided you want your ex back and that texting is the way, you are now nervous and anxious trying to decide what to text. You are so afraid of rejection that you are having second thoughts. But, if you don’t give it a try you will never know and may in fact miss out on your opportunity to get your ex back. Here are a few pointers…
- Send a causal text. Since you are the one initiating the conversation — with the hope of winning them back — ignore the fact that they haven’t texted you since the breakup, and make the first move. Send a casual text just asking how they have been. Then wait. If you do not get a response immediately don’t think the worse, they could be in a meeting, in class, in the barber chair, on an airplane… who knows. Whatever you do, don’t send a second text asking why they did not respond to you.
Send Your Ex A Text To Win Them Back
2. Determine their mood. Now that they have responded… finally! phew! then you should try to determine what their mood is. That’s not as hard as you may think. If after months of not hearing from you their only response is ‘I’m great!” then that could very well mean they are still mad, maybe with the breakup and certainly at you. That’s sarcasm right there. If they respond ” I’m great. How are you?’ then they are interested in having a conversation and you can, by all means, respond in like manner.
3. Initiate the direction of the conversation. One of the safest ways to start a conversation with your ex that you want to get back is a simple ‘Hey’ or ‘hello (their name)’. Wait for them to respond before sending another text. How they respond to that greeting will tell you their mood and once you have determined that then you can go on to ask other questions. If their only response back is ‘Hey’ then they are waiting to hear what you have to say next before they delve into a conversation. They are also feeling you out. As a result, send another message, ‘how have you been?’ if they respond by stating how they are and ask you the same question in return then the lines are open for you to continue a conversation. If they respond but did not ask how you are, then chances are they are not interested in talking. Give it about two weeks before trying again. If on the other hand their response to your ‘how have you been?’ is ‘I’m missing you’, then you are home free! You can take it from there as they are definitely open to getting back together with you. Unfortunately, this does not always happen.
Initiate The Direction Of The Conversation When Texting To Get Your Ex Back
4. Ask irrelevant questions to break the ice. If they ask how you are. respond and follow that up with questions about their job, about how their car is holding up, ask when was the last time they visited (your favorite hang-out spot), etc. This will get them relaxed and break any tension they, or you may have been feeling. It also makes them aware that you did not text to argue. Thus, they will begin to open up to you.
5. Be the first to end the conversation. Leaving the conversation before your ex does may seem contrary to what you are trying to accomplish, which is to win them back. But it is your best bet. Just as how you were warned not to sleep with someone on the first date, then this is similar. Do not pour out how much you have been missing them and desperately want them back in your first session of texting — unless they tell you they have been missing you. If they did not say that, tell them it was nice chatting and you will talk to them again soon. Give it another week then text back asking how their week was, how work/school was, what’s going on in their area regarding COVID, etc. Then you can ask that question… ‘Are you dating someone now?’ If no, then tell them you went on a few dates (if you have) but weren’t interested because you find yourself comparing your dates to him. That should open the door to where you want to get. If they say they have been dating someone then see How To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back After Months —The Realistic Guide! or How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back and Keep Her! — Epic Guide.
Texting To Get Your Ex Back is Possible
6. Talk about the good aspect of your relationship and what you loved about them. Talk about things they did that you both found funny at the time. Talk about the good times in your relationship. Talk about what you loved about them. This will remind them that despite the breakup it was not all bad and that you appreciated them. Keep it light but serious at the same time. Asking if they remember events from your past and interject with humor ever so often. This will make it easier for you to make your next move.
7. Ask them out for coffee/dinner/to a community function. Now that you have rebuilt a friendly relationship. It is time to take things to another level. It is time to meet in person. Ask them out. Ask them to the park, to a community function, ask them over for dinner, whatever you are comfortable with so you can finally see them after months of being apart.
8. Flirt a bit. Ensure that you are yourself, the person they fell in love with so long ago. Flirt a bit, let them see that side of you again, and remember why they fell in love with you and regret the breakup.
Do Not Talk About Past Hurt In Texting To Get Your Ex Back
9. Be positive. Do not bring up the negatives and be angry about the past. If you are still at that stage you may not yet have forgiven your ex and are in a position to rekindle the relationship. Your ex wants to know that they are getting into something good and lasting this time around. Therefore, be positive.
10. Always be the first to say goodbye after texting. This will leave them wanting more and will show them that despite the fact that you reached out to them first that you are by no means needy and desperate.
Things Not To Do In Trying To Win Your Ex Back Over Text
- Do not text asking why you haven’t heard from them even though you have broken up
- Do not text about a picture of them you saw on social media with someone else
- Do not tell them how angry you are or that you cannot get over what they did to you (which led to the breakup).
- If they text something that makes you angry, do not respond. Walk away from the phone. Do something else then when you are calm you can reply as calmly as possible.
- Do not text out of desperation. Everyone wants to know they have someone in their life that can stand on their own two feet. Desperation is unattractive. Don’t wear it.
Do Not Sound Desperate In Your Text To Get Your Ex Back
- Do not send a text that will make them feel guilty. They want to know that you have forgiven them (if they did you wrong) and do not want to be reminded of it. If they bring it up then reply as calmly as possible even though you may not feel calm at that moment. That is why texting is so good, you can walk away from your phone and it does not seem disrespectful. Then return when it pleases you.
- DO NOT bombard your ex with texts. One is enough until they respond. If you are continuing the same thought in another message because it seems to have been running too long in the one text that is fine. If they do not respond immediately do not start texting nonstop asking how come they are not responding and then start sending angry texts. Give your ex a day to respond to you. If after a day they have not responded send another text stating that you hope they are ok. Don’t be a text stalker!