Ok, so first of all, I am quite curious, why do you care if your ex is happy in his new relationship or not? In reality, he is your ex and has gained that status for a reason. So if you care whether or not he is happy then it means you are still carrying the torch (and not a blow torch) for him and maybe even have hopes that you two will get back together. If this is the case then you definitely need to read What To Do If Your Ex Is Doing Better Than You — You Got This!.
But since we do not live in a perfect world with perfect relationships, then I will also say it really is a bummer when your ex is happy (allegedly so) in his new relationship and you are probably still trying to come to terms with the breakup. You are probably still dragging yourself through the days, having to go to work even though that’s the last thing you want to do, still eating ice cream from a tub, and still watching sappy movies that remind you of him. But first, let us establish if he is just pretending to be happy.
Is He Just Pretending To Be Happy In His New Relationship?
He Is Just Pretending To Be Happy In His New Relationship If:
There are in fact ways to tell if your ex is really just pretending to be happy in his new relationship. After all, he may have left you for this girl and found out that all is not peaches and cream now that they are fully together but his pride will not allow him to admit this, and especially not to you! Or he may be pretending to be happy because he feels you have got over him and is yourself happy and of course he doesn’t want to appear to be the one left behind. Or he may just be a genuine pretending and doesn’t know what genuinely feels like — who knows — maybe that was why your relationship didn’t work out. Here are some signs your ex is only pretending to be happy in his new relationship:
He is too happy
One of the easiest ways to tell that someone is pretending to be happy is by them being way too happy! If someone heard good news they are elated and cannot contain that joy at the time of the news, a few hours later they would have come to terms with it and though they are still extremely happy, they are not jumping up and down and screaming at the top of their lungs. So even if your ex met someone and is happy about it, he would not be excessively happy ALL the time. Soon after meeting the novelty usually wears off as the dust settles. Therefore, if he seems too happy all the time — he is definitely pretending.
Your Ex Could Be Pretending To Be Happy If He Is Too Happy
Overexpressing
So you just happen to randomly run into them at the mall and the moment your eyes caught his, he quickly puts his arms around her shoulders and starts whispering in her ears. She burst into laughter and he started laughing too. All this time he’s looking at you to make sure that you see how happy they are. He is definitely pretending to be happy. That was just a show for your benefit. Nothing to be jealous of!
He looks sad and lonely
Even after hearing about his new hook up and after checking out their seemingly hundreds of pictures on social media (all of which he looked so happy and content), you happen to see him at his favorite food stop (well it was yours too), he didn’t see you and so you were able to just observe him from the distance. He seemed sad and lonely, so much so that you just wanted to go over and hug him and tell him everything would be OK. You couldn’t help yourself and so you actually went over to say hi, suddenly his entire countenance changes and he started telling you elaborate stories of how great he was doing and that he and ‘Shellie’ did this and did that and how they enjoyed the same things, etc. The first impression is what matters — he is sad and lonely and just pretending to be happy.
Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Happy If He Is Vindictive Towards You
He is vindictive and angry towards you
He is supposed to be so happy, yet he finds the time to be going around telling everyone you know how terrible you are. He even left comments on social media of what he thinks of you in some very colorful languages. Yet his pictures paint him as such a happy go lucky guy. He is definitely pretending to be happy. Happy people think happy thoughts. Miserable people want to make others around them miserable.
Overpost on social media
Excess of anything is never good. It’s like having a bowl of your favorite ice cream and it tastes so good you decide to go for another bowl and then another and then another. Suddenly it just starts tasting bland and loses its appeal. Then maybe the next time you go to the grocery store and walk down the ice cream aisle you look at the tub of that same flavor and it just isn’t calling your name anyone. Too much of one thing is never good. Well, it’s the same with your ex. If he feels the need to flood all his social media with pictures of them looking in each other’s eyes and laughing and just having fun while making comments like ‘I’ve never felt like this before’, then you know he is pretending to be happy. While you may want to share your love and happiness (allegedly) with the world, when you overdo it, then you are only trying to make up for something that is lacking. In this case, he is trying to make up for his lack of happiness!
Signs He is Genuinely Happy In His New Relationship
While your ex is sometimes not happy in his new relationship and is only pretending as such, there are times when they have moved on and have found someone that they are genuinely happy with. This could be because they share the same likes and dislikes, enjoys the same things and their principles may align. For example, he may not have been happy with you because you put your feet down and told him, he was not allowed to date other women while with you, or that you were not entertaining a threesome in the bedroom, while his new girl is all about open relationships and even finding the partners for their bedroom stints. So before we even go into signs he may be genuinely happy, just remember that not compromising your morals, values, and principles for anyone — even your partner is worth it. Never regret doing that. Always stay true to yourself and never self-blame for him leaving if he feels you weren’t good enough. In fact, it is obvious he was the one not good enough for you! The right person will come along and knock you off your feet at the right time. And there will be no need to compromise who you really are!!
Having said that, here are some signs your ex is genuinely happy in his new relationship.
» Facial expression
You can look at someone’s facial expression and especially his eyes and tell whether or not he is genuinely happy. He is your ex so you would have known what he looks like when he was genuinely happy. If you see that look again, then you know he is genuinely happy. As a result, you may want to consider How To Move On From An Ex — Get the Facts!
He’s Genuinely Happy If He Still Sings Her Praises After Months Of Being Together
» The infatuation phase has worn off, but he still sings her high praise
It has been months going into a year since they have been together and he still thinks the world of her. You would not have believed him if he was telling you directly how great she was, but whenever you run into mutual friends and even his mother (his mother for crying out loud! she used to be your biggest fan!) they only have wonderful things to say about how great she has been to him and how he adores her and that he has nothing negative to say of her.
» She meets his family
Meeting your partner’s family never quite happens until you are sure of where your relationship is going and happy with that person. If he already took her home to meet his parents then nine chances out of 10 he is genuinely happy with her and he sees her as being in his life for the long haul. Remember, your Mr. Right will come along too.
» They have chemistry together
You may not be a rocket scientist and so you may think you cannot tell when there is chemistry between your ex and his new lady. However, there are very simple signs that will tell. Say you ran into them while you were out with your friends at some Christmas party the community throws every year (try not to focus on the fact that you were the one he went with for the past two years) and they are there together if he goes for her drinks, casually reaches for her hands as the stroll around the booths, kisses her on her forehead every so often — without appearing to be putting on a show — then you know they have a chemistry and he is genuinely happy with her.
Your Ex is Happy In His New Relationship If They Have Chemistry Together
What To Do If Your Ex is Happy In His New Relationship
If you have discovered that your ex is genuinely happy in his new relationship, then for sure there is nothing you can — or should do at this point, but to allow him to be happy. As hard is it may be for you to accept, you have to let go of him emotionally and instead focus on improving you. Here are some things you can do if you find out that your ex is happy in his new relationship.
Self-protection and self-preservation
Now that you have discovered that your ex is genuinely happy, start focusing on whatever you need to do to protect and take care of you. If you have been following him on social media, stop! Following him and knowing that they are genuinely happy will only crush you further and further each time you view his post. No good can come of this — unless you are hoping that one day you will check and they will suddenly break up, but if they are genuinely happy do not expect that anytime soon. That’s just complete torture. Remind yourself that while you are viewing, and crying your eyes out, they are busy enjoying a happy life together. As a result, and for your own self-preservation, it is better to delete your ex from your post. Desperate times call for desperate measures and this is the only way to save yourself from that pain.
If Your Ex Is Happy In His New Relationship, Spend Time Taking Care Of You
Fake it until you make it!
Occupy your time doing things you enjoy. Having broken up recently and maybe still trying to get past the breakup plus now having to deal with the fact that your ex is happy with someone new is a double whammy for you. Thus it is quite understandable if you do not feel like going out and living. But you must, he sure is! So push yourself, get up, and go. Surround yourself with people who are willing to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and get active. Go out and get involved. If you go out dancing don’t just stand in the corner and be a bystander — dance! If you go out hiking, don’t sit by the campsite while your friends do the trail — do it! Start doing until you find that you are enjoying it. Fake it until you make it! Friendly reminder — he sure is enjoying himself! You should too.
What NOT To Do If Your Ex Is Happy In His New Relationship
Do not stalk them! Either of them!
Now that you have confirmed that your ex is not home moping about your breakup but has actually moved on with his life — and is happy — do not have the urge to go prove this for yourself. Do not go stalking him to find out how he could be with her instead of you. And do not stalk his new girl either. Neither in person or on social media. Stalking her on social media would have been fine if you didn’t already know how happy they were. Then you could find all the faults you could and tell yourself that he would never be happy with her – but he is, so now what’s the point? There is nothing you can say about her to make yourself feel better. So again, to avoid the self-torture and maybe even the temptation to throw her a punch or two, stay away from them — both on social media and physically.
Do Not Stalk Your Ex After Finding He Is Happy In His New Relationship
Do not throw a pity party
Yes, it’s hard, very hard, having to deal with an ex who has moved on and who is happy with someone else other than you. But avoid sitting home and throwing yourself a pity party – wait – you are allowed one last day to mope after his ‘happy discovery’ because you are human with emotions and genuinely not a bad person. But is it really worth it? No. Only if he was home doing the same. One man (in this case woman) party is never fun. You already went through the depression stages of the breakup and have grown a great deal from there. Don’t allow yourself to fall back into that stage now. Don’t start asking what you could have done differently, or beating up yourself as to not being good enough for him, etc. Things happen the way they should. Again, as hard as it may seem, build yourself up with positive thoughts and ride it out. This too shall pass.
Do not compare yourself to her
You have seen his new girl many times on his social media pages and even in person, so you know what she looks like. She is all that any man would have wanted — that supermodel body, long thick flowing hair, that perfect smile and legs so long a man could get lost wrapped between them — while you, well, you know, you are who you are. And need I add, everyone’s beauty is different, if we were all the same how boring and predictable would life be? You may look different from her but that does not make you any less beautiful, and like I keep saying, your Mr. Right who thinks you are absolutely and completely perfect the way you are will come along.
Do not compete With Your Ex If You Find He Is Happy In His New Relationship
Do not compete
In an effort to prove to your ex that you are also happy and going great, you may want to compete with him. You know, hook up with the first guy that comes along, flood social media with pictures of the both of you together, make moments on your picture like ‘Im the happiest and luckiest woman alive’ or even go by his hangout spots with your new love just so he can see how ‘happy’ you are. While all this may be tempting — do not do it. Bad idea! If he is genuinely happy then that is something you cannot compete since you cannot fake happiness. Eventually, your charade will come to an end and he would realize how fake you were being. That would be to your humiliation. Also, if he is genuinely happy in his relationship, it will not matter to him what you do and who you are doing it with. In fact, he may genuinely be happy for you as he will think you have moved on when in reality, you haven’t. So do not compete.