There are some men who have made it their life’s duty to play with a woman’s emotions while all the time knowing he has no intention of settling down with her. However, he will be with her because she serves other purposes for him. Some of these are the financial stability that she provides; to get citizenship; to hide the fact that he is really interested in men; and the biggest on the list, to get between her legs to gain another trophy on his wall. Usually, once his reason for being with her is accomplished he will be gone without looking back. But how can you tell what a guy really wants from you? It is not always easy but here is a guide to help you along.
Signs he is just playing you:
* Whenever he calls or text, the headline of his conversations are about sex, and when you can meet him at his place or yours. There is no asking how your day was, how you are feeling, what you have planned for your day etc. This is a clear indication that he’s only after one thing –Sex.
* It’s only been a few days since you met, yet he is already impatient and even tells you that he cannot wait to experience making love to you. Even if he pretends, it will still be obvious as his conversations will lead right back there.
How to tell what a guy wants from you
* He just compliments you on certain body parts — breasts, bottom, lips, and overlooks the wonderful person you really are. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes because he’s too busy gazing in your bosom rather than actually listening. He will make subtle remarks about his sexual prowess and is interested in how many guys you’ve been with. If he loses interest after a few weeks of you not jumping into the sack with him, then you know what he was about. Don’t bother calling or texting him to ask why you haven’t heard from him – now you know why!
* You just met him but all he does is sends explicit pictures of himself or raunchy videos and tells you he would love to play you like a Spanish guitar, or that the only thing missing from the picture is you. Yes, he only wants you for sex!
* He’s in no way shape or form interested in your wellbeing and couldn’t care less that you are down with the flu, nor does he care about your great concern that it could actually be COVID!
* If he is into you there is going to be some amount of attention involved. If you have to beg for attention, then his interest is quite low. Eg. if he goes away for two weeks and there is no texting or calling and when his two weeks is up and you finally mention how he didn’t check up on you, and his reply is that you could have texted him too, then there is very little interest. A man who is interested in a woman will want to speak/connect with her all the time and when he doesn’t get to do so, he will apologize profusely. No matter how busy he is! If there is no attention, there is no love.
* The level of respect he shows you is indicative of the level of interest he has in you — the way he speaks to you, the way he deals with you, the way he honors you as a woman. The way he treats you when you are alone or with others speaks volumes. If he takes your feelings into consideration and it’s not about ‘me, me, me’ all the time then he is interested. Otherwise, he’s not.
* If he is into you, he will definitely want to spend time with you, not just meet up for booty calls, but spend quality time. He will show interest in you as an individual. He will want to go for walks, go to the movies, go to the mall, to dinner, to sit down and just talk, etc.
If a guy is into you he will want to spend time with you
* If he is interested in you he will place your needs above his own when necessary. It will not be all about him and what he wants. And whenever he cannot get what he wants he throws a tantrum like a child.
* Another typical warning sign that is easy to detect what he really wants is him calling only when he wants to have sex. When he does his conversations are usually sexually based and meaningless. How he feels only comes out during sex and that is only to tell you how good you feel and he will never leave you. Don’t get sidetracked, sex talk is meaningless, and he is right, he will never want to stop sleeping with you because that is the only purpose you serve to him.
Other signs he only wants sex, sex, and more sex!
Just about every woman are suckers for long and lasting relationships! We all want a man who adores, respects, and is totally faithful to just us while fulfilling all our financial needs. Sometimes this need blinds us to to the fact that all they want is sex, not a long-term relationship – plain and simple! So how can you tell he only wants sex?
He tells you there is no rush and that he will wait on you forever!
Forever? Yeah right! Ladies beware, this is just a line to distract you from his real motive and to get you to feel so comfortable with him that you are the one begging him to sleep with you. Mission accomplished, and you don’t hear from him for another two weeks when he wants to do it all over again!
He tells you he is not ready to settle down but wants to spend ‘quality time’ getting to know you.
Sometimes what he says is what he actually means – don’t try to rationalize it. And for sure do not tell yourself that if you spend this quality time with him you will change him and he will want to stay with you forever. It really doesn’t work like that! If he tells you he is not ready for a steady relationship, he was being honest. So if his ‘quality time’ includes getting to know you intimately, then honey – you got a problem! If you allow him to ‘get to know you’, at the end of the day when he walks away without looking back don’t say he didn’t warn you. Don’t fall for his clever tactic.
Promising you the moon and the stars – way too soon!
On the first date, you tell him the type of man that you are looking for. Not only does he tell you he can be that man but promises that he would do anything for you – ’cause nothing is too good for you. Really? Yes, you are right he is too good to be true! He is simply trying to jump pass second base and jump right in your bed – after all, why waste time, he is the man you are looking for. Who does that? The man who only has sex on his brain… that’s who! So if his plans get real big real fast, don’t get comfortable thinking you’ve hit the jackpot, he is just a player!
He asks when is your menses.
Awww! He is so concerned, how sweet! The only problem is he doesn’t want to know how you are doing and if he can grab you some soup or some pain killers, but wants to know how long it will last and when it will end so he can come over then. He only comes around when you are off your menses and only for sex. You know why? Because that is all he is after!
Some guys only want sex
How to tell he is not really into you, despite what he says!
Sometimes women get carried away thinking they have found the love of their lives and that he is as interested in her as she is in him. Unfortunately, doesn’t always work like that. They may be sleeping together, giving her good reason to think they are more than just friends when all this time he just wants to be friends or just casual acquaintances. So how can you tell he is really not into you like that?
1. He introduces you as a ‘friend’. He tells his friends that you are his ‘buddy’, his “good sistren”, ‘co-worker’ or ‘just a friend’. This remains the same even after months of hanging with and sleeping with him. While you keep introducing him to your friends and family as your ‘boyfriend’. You may be sleeping with him but that’s all you are to him – a bed partner, oh! And a friend.
2. Your number is not saved in his contacts. You have been going out for months but then you suddenly realize that if you don’t text him you don’t hear from him. Only to discover that your number is not saved in his contacts. You are definitely not a priority in his life or he would have you on speed dial or at least saved in his contact. You are in the friend zone for sure.
3. He doesn’t remember your birthday. On the night of your birthday is when you receive a text to say ‘happy birthday’ after he checked Facebook and saw all the posts there. Not only is he not interested in you intimately and is therefore not invested, but he is not even a very good friend.
4. Promises to take you out but never do. Every time you suggest going out on a date, or even to the mall together he finds reasons not to. You even got free movie tickets for two from your work for Christmas, but he suggests you take your girlfriend along instead of him. In fact, his idea of taking you to dinner is going through a drive-through then sitting in the car in the parking lot and eating the meal. It’s not because he doesn’t like the public’s eye. He is either ashamed to be seen with you or he already has a girlfriend and doesn’t want to be caught. Neither of which is good for you.
Some guys are only after your money
Ways to know he is only after your money
Then there are those men who make it their life’s duty to prey on independent women who will fall for their charms, fall in love with them and just about hand over their bank accounts on a gold platter. Money that he may very well be using to support the woman he is really into. So how can you tell he is only after your money?
1. He is always in debt and wants you to bail him out.
2. On your second date, he is already asking how much money you are earning and what portion goes into your bills. Because you did not respond directly, the next time he sees you the questions comes up again. Then he begins to play the guilt trip game into getting you to feel bad for not telling him.
3. During the dating period, he tells you he cannot see you because of how depressed he is due to some urgent bills he has to take care of. He says he is unable to at the moment as the money he was supposed to collect for a big job he did has not yet come through. All this in the hope that you will offer to take care of the situation or him.
4. Then there is the regular excuse. He invited YOU out and at the end of the night asked you to foot the bill because he left his wallet accidentally in his other jacket pocket at home.
5. He wants access to your credit and debit card to buy you groceries and service your car so he can surprise you by doing them from time to time. All this to ease some of the pressure off you!
5. When your birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Christmas comes around he is mad at you without giving a reason while telling you he needs a few days to cool off. However, weeks before his birthday he starts giving hints of what he wants and what would make him very happy. In fact, he becomes more loving than ever before.
He only thinks about himself
6. He is always borrowing your car and returning it on empty. Then the next morning he tells you the car needs gas even though he is the one who will be driving it – again!
7.Whenever he calls the conversations are centered around his financial needs.
8. It’s your money, yet each time you purchase something for yourself he gets upset and tells you that you need to watch your spending. Yet he constantly reminds you that he needs an upgrade to his 2017 Lexus or a gold watch to match his suit for his friend’s birthday party.
Signs he is into you for the long haul:
If he is patient for a long period gives without looking for something in return, cares about your well-being and your relatives, and your mind and body connect, then he is in it for the long term. If he’s into you, he’s going to want to both show you off and get some second and third opinions on your suitability as a partner. But if he doesn’t see you in his future, why bother? If you’re going to be a part of his life, he’s going to want to integrate you into it and not just see you solo. Please note, this isn’t something you should bring up, let him initiate this on his own.
But, generally speaking, one cannot know from first, second, and third meetings, it does take time.