How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – A Step By Step Guide

Unfortunately, breakups are not always something we can avoid. Once you enter into a relationship the possibility is quite real. People break up for many reasons, some valid and some, well – not so much. It can take time for persons to realize that they are not compatible with each other, and other times it is just one mistake on one person’s part that causes the break-up. Sometimes, however, you may realize after you have said your heated good-bye that this was not really what you wanted and spend night after night restlessly twisting and turning and trying to figure out how to get your ex back.

However, many women take the intervention bit too far, and in their desperate quest to win their lover back, they commit the ultimate sins that just drive the men further away. Some of these mistakes that you should avoid are:

Mistake # 1… Begging.

The ‘please, please, please, I’ll do anything you want’, will do nothing more than make him think you’re a simpering nutcase. You are only setting yourself up to be used and worse, cast aside again.

Mistake # 2… Changing to suit him.

Some women immediately go on fast forward, becoming something they’re not in an attempt to win their partner back. But if he didn’t like you for your real self, changing into something you are not will only make you feel a whole lot worse.

Mistake # 3… Calling his friends and relatives.

Some women resort to calling the man’s friends or relatives moaning and complaining about the break-up. This often results in making them uncomfortable and seeing you as someone clingy and annoying.

Mistake # 4… Stalking or spying on him.

It’s pathetic when you have to resort to stalking, spying, and doing everything to catch up on his movements. Rest assured that if he catches you, he will do nothing but run far away from your craziness.

So, How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

There is a very critical “window of opportunity” for getting him back and fighting for him outside of this can result in total disaster, with you being embarrassed and hurt all over again.

This window of opportunity – when it is time to make your move – is dependent on the cause of the break-up. The suggested time is when you have healed.

In any breakup, the woman needs time to heal because she may get back with him simply because she is lonely. If this is the case, then she is at a disadvantage because she is vulnerable. And if she is not healed and reenters the relationship, she is still vulnerable.

If the break-up is as a result of some bastardly action of his, before you make a move in taking him back, make sure you see signs of him being sorry and do not just accept a verbal apology. Lay low and observe him for a while without making any move towards him.

1. You must first be healed or the need in you will reach out and take him back even if he has not changed. So, he needs to show change and you need to SEE that change.
2. Make your move. After identifying that you have been healed of the hurt and that he is repentant, you can now make your move towards getting him back, consciously knowing that he is who you want to be with. But at what time this takes place will be dependent on how soon you heal.
3. Start with communication. Look at the cause of the break-up then discuss what went wrong and what can be done to not only avoid making a similar mistake but also to see how committed he is willing to be this time around. As you get older, you get wiser, so you will find that you/he will not make the same mistakes again. Don’t rush back into the relationship, instead, take time to know each other all over again as you both would have changed in some way. If you are the one at fault, YOU have to convince him that you have changed. Find out what he wants and let him know what you want. The key is not to come on too strong and not needy. Again, be warned – men hate needy! It turns them off.
4. Be his friend, not his ex. Once you have decided that you want to be together again, be his friend without being his sex partner. After you have established a firm friendship through spending time together, then you are well on your way to holding the position you want – as his lifelong partner.

What to say to get your ex-boyfriend back

THE right words spoken at the right time can do some serious damage control and probably help you to win your man back. But whatever you say or do, do not resort to the mistakes mentioned earlier. This will either make him resentful or make him super egotistical.  And in this case, you do not want either.

1. Say that you are willing to make the relationship work if he is. Probably neither of you were seriously ready for a relationship before. But now that you both know what you want, you can let him know that you are willing to try if he is.
2. Apologize if you were the reason for the break-up. Probably he wasn’t in the frame of mind to accept your apology after he found out you were cheating. But after a month has passed and the pain has mellowed, you can try again. Don’t plead with him to accept your apology, instead, wait for him to make his move.
3. Let him know you still love him. If you are sincere enough, then there is no need for the crocodile tears. Just lay it out to him plain and straight. After that, there is not much else you can do.
4. Say yes! If he should come and say that he wants to try again, then say yes. Drop the pride and the pretense (yes, even if he was the one at fault). If you are behind closed doors weeping your eyes out over him or spending hours tracking his every move, then when he opens up the door to a relationship, don’t go on a tirade and lie that you are better off without him. Just say yes.

During the break-up period – do this!

1. Become more independent. Instead of wasting your energy becoming clingy and needy, use it to become more independent. Show him that you can live without him by doing things that benefit you. When he sees the positive changes that you have made, he will realize that you are not chasing him, and he will start chasing you.
2. Enjoy your social life. Don’t allow the depression to take over your life. Go out, socialize, and have fun. When your ex sees you a couple of times hanging out with friends at night or on the social scene living it up, then he will want to come running back to you out of fear that someone else will snatch you away.
3. Keep up your appearance. A lot of women allow their appearances and overall hygiene to go south after a break-up. If you are one of them, you need to get back on track to becoming that sophisticated lady that he’ll be hard-pressed to give up. If you look beaten down, then he won’t think you are worth a second glance.

What to do if your ex is dating someone else

So what do you do now that he is dating someone else?

1. Stay away. There is a Caribbean saying that ‘what eyes do not see, the heart cannot leap’. Therefore, the less you see them together and the less you hear about their exploits out on the town is the less painful it will be for you. thus, avoid going to places you know they may be hanging out, tell your friends you would appreciate not hearing anything about him, and avoid going on his social media pages. Stay away.
2. Comfort yourself. Take comfort in the fact that no one gets over a relationship, especially a long term relationship so quickly, so for sure he will be thinking about you even while he is with his new girl. He may even be comparing – mentally and verbally, the things she does with how you did them. Even if he is really into her chances are he may realize that you are the one he wants to be with. If he is in a rebound relationship, (Is Your Ex In a Rebound Relationship? Learn the Truth Today!) chances of it ending quickly are great. Research shows that 80 percent of relationships that begin soon after a breakup is a ‘band-aid’ relationship. Meaning they are used to cover up the pain usually caused by the relationship they just left.
3. Distract yourself. Take some time to take care of your mental as well as your physical health. Read books with happy endings, watch movies that do not speak to love and relationships, hang with your friends, lose yourself in your work – anything that will be a distraction to you.
4. Time heals all wounds. This may sound dismal at the moment, but really it’s very positive. Usually, if a relationship did not work out because of something he did, or if he left you, in the end, they come back. At this point you would be at the stage where you either have the option of taking him back or moving on with satisfaction, knowing you could have had him if you wanted. On the other hand, if he doesn’t, you would have moved ahead in your healing process and on your way to full recovery. This takes time but it does happen.