How to Get Him Committed To A Serious Relationship

Sometimes we meet someone and know instantly that this is a person we would really like to get to know. Then the more you get to know them the more you see that they are shaping up to be the right match —or close enough — and the dating begins. Only, you start noticing he has straying eyes and wandering thoughts. Just by listening to him talk about his past, you realize he had been burnt by love and has no intention of settling down anytime soon. Or that he is one of those who believe in ‘why settle for one Larabar when you can have the whole box!’ Some men have commitment issues to the point where the moment you get too close they begin to pull away. Or the moment they realize that they are getting emotionally attached they run for cover! So how do you get your new man to commit to a serious relationship?

“First of all, let us establish that a relationship is a process of engaging one mind with or against another mind. All relationships begin and exist in the mind,” Anthony L Gordon, Career Educator, and Family Counselor, with over 38 years experience in the field of family life education and counseling said. “Therefore, for a relationship to be lasting and healthy, it must be anchored in a healthy state of mind of the parties engaged in the relationship. Some keys to be kept in mind are sweet, childlike friendship; honesty; open communication of words and feelings; and sincere commitment and loyalty. Spouses need to share just about everything unreservedly and uninhibitedly with each other,” said the graduate of West Indies College (now Northern Caribbean University, Jamaica) and Andrews University, Michigan, USA. Gordon, who is a researcher and writer specializing in marriage, parenting, and human sexuality, is also a certified family educator/counselor.

Getting Him To Commit to a Serious Relationship

Be confident about yourself – It begins with you. The aura you give off will attract similar energy. Therefore, show that you are confident in who you are, what you are about, and what you want. This will attract similar men with confidence. Men love confident women who can stand their ground, yet still need their help from time to time. This will be very helpful in him deciding to commit to you.
Be yourself around them – Be yourself. Let someone accept you for who you really are. If they cannot accept you as is, then they cannot commit to you. The only way for someone to accept you for who you really are is to show them that person. Being yourself shows your honesty which is another character that says you are worth being committed to.
Show that fun side of you – Don’t be a bore and a drillmaster. If he wanted to settle for that he would more than likely join the army! Men want to know that they can relax and have a good time with you. They want to know that when everything around them is crashing down they can find some amount of peace, comfort, and fun with you.

Show That Fun Side of You

Don’t be too quick to answer his every beck and call – Being too easy is a big turn off for men! Yes, I said it! They will never commit to a woman they think is too easy. They like to be challenged. Make yourself available at times but not jump each time they call. They will only start using you to fulfill their needs without ever committing – after all — why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?

Don’t give it up too quickly – While some women pride themselves in being able to sleep with a man on the first date, second date, or third – this does not always work in your favor if you are actually looking for a serious long term relationship. I have heard men say if you are so quick to give it up to them you will be quick to give it up to other men and that makes you everybody’s property. Again, not someone they see themselves committing to for the long haul.
Give them time to miss you – The more he misses you the more time he will want to spend with you and the more he will think about you. So give him time to miss you. See Will He Miss Me If I Leave Him Alone? The Cold Truth! This time apart will also have him thinking that he wants to be with you all the time – thus making him wanting a commitment.

Give Him Time To Miss You

Be understanding – Be understanding and considerate of his feelings, his other commitments, and his moods. Having someone who is understanding in his life may be a rare commodity as people tend to see men as so macho that they don’t need anyone in their corner. Contrary to that belief, men are the ones needing the understanding so much more as it serves as a push for them to succeed and to be the provider.
Be affectionate – Be kind and affectionate. People, including men, thrive on affection, whether this is done privately, in public, or both. Everyone needs a hug, a kiss, or to hear the words, I love you, ever so often. This makes them feel special. Making a man feel special is the key to him committing to you and maybe the deciding factor between you and the other girl he has been contemplating settling with.
Be supportive – Men love and appreciate knowing that there is someone in their life that supports their decisions and their aspirations. If you are that person then your chance of getting him to seriously commit to you is great.

Being Supportive Will Make Him Want to Commit to You

Listen to what he is truly saying – Communication is extremely important in any and every relationship. The more you communicate, the more you get to know each other and know if this is the relationship for you. If you can talk about anything and feel comfortable doing so then this builds trust and trust leads to the desire to always have you around. That desire to always have you around is what will get him to commit to a serious relationship.
Show genuine interest in things he enjoys – Show genuine interest in things he loves. This is one way of letting him see that you are truly into him. If you share in his interest he will feel that you have a special bond and will want to open up and let you into his world. If you can get into his world, you can get him to commit.

Why he does not want to commit to a serious relationship

There are a number of reasons why a guy may not want to commit to a serious relationship. Reasons that may directly point to you or things that are all on him.

Here are some reasons he may not be ready for a serious relationship.

Why He Does Not Want To Settle Down

Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free — In other words, why settle down with one woman knowing he has to give up all the possibilities out there. So why settle for one woman when he can have it all! Some men’s sole reasons for not wanting to commit to a serious relationship is because they are being honest with themselves — he cannot live with just sleeping with one woman. If this is the case, it is actually a good thing for him not to commit to a serious relationship with you as this means he will cheat endlessly.
He was hurt from a past relationship — Some men have had their hearts torn from their chest in past relationships and have built a guard around it that prevents them from really committing again out of the fear of being hurt afresh.

He has other priorities — He may be thinking that he wants to achieve his dreams before having someone in his life so that when he does he is well able to take care of her. As a result, he may be trying to earn enough money, buy his house, jump-start his dream career before he actually commits.

Some Men May Not Want To Commit

He is not attracted to you — He may not wish to commit to you but would commit to someone else simply because he is not attracted to you. Not necessarily because you are not physically attractive but because he is not mentally attracted to you. In other words, you do not share in his interest and your morals and values may vary.

He is scared of failure — He may have grown up seeing relationships fail, around him, or with a single parent who struggled. Thus he grew up being afraid to commit out of fear of failing as a partner. As a result, the moment someone gets close to him, or he gets close to someone he pulls away.
He wants sex without the responsibilities — Some men shun responsibilities in any form. Thus while he likes hanging out with you he may only be doing this for the sex that you are so willing to offer. When the talk of commitment comes he will disappear and move on to the next woman willing to fulfill his sexual desires.

He Wants Sex Without The Commitment

His heart is elsewhere — He may be in love with someone else that he cannot be with for whatever reason. For example, she may be overseas, she may be in university and wanting to finish up her education, etc. Thus while he finds himself being into you he cannot commit because his heart belongs to someone else.

Why you should not want a commitment from him

While you may be having sleepless nights wondering why you cannot get your new man to seriously commit, and even googling to find articles that will tell you how to get him to do so, just know that not all men are worth committing to. So before you strategies on how to reel him in for good, make sure you have the right man.

Tick off the checklist below to confirm if this is really the man you want to settle down with, as there are some that you should never desire to be committed to.

- They are always attacking your physical appearance and telling you that you are too fat or too skinny, etc. They always put you down and make you feel bad about yourself.
- Everything is about them and what they want. They never give your needs any consideration.

Do Not Commit To Him If He Only Thinks About Himself

- They are always too busy when you want to see them and don’t even bother to call to apologize each time they stood you up. In fact, you have to be the one constantly reaching out to them, and even though you were left standing you ended up feeling it was your fault and being the one apologizing to them for them standing you up.
- They are mad at you without reason. You never seem to be able to get anything right with them as they are always angry at you and cannot seem to explain why.
- They blame you for everything. Even when they are at fault they find a way to turn it around to blame you.
- They never compliment you. They are always putting you down and you cannot remember the last time they did or said something nice to you.
- They want you to be somebody else as they are not satisfied with who you really are.
- They want to get too far too fast and get upset if you tell them that you want to wait and that you should take things slow and get to know each other better.

Do Not Commit If He Gets Angry Easily

- They have no boundaries as to want is acceptable and want isn’t and just live life as they see fit, not caring who gets hurt in the process.
- They do not share your morals and principles and tells you that you are stupid for having them.
- They are disrespectful. Not only when you are alone but when you are in public. Sometimes making you the center of their jokes while encouraging his friends to have a few laughs at your expense.

Do not commit to a serious relationship only because —

You think you are getting old and your eggs are dying fast! This is definitely not a good reason to want to get into a serious relationship. Even though a number of women have been known to do so. However, these relationships never end well.

Do Not Commit To a Serious Relationship Out Of Desperation

Do not commitment because it is expected of you. Your friends may all be hitched and have kids by now and you are the only one still single. Thus you feel pressured to get into a serious relationship as soon as possible to cover up your pride. Or your family may simply expect it of you based on someone they have in mind that they all feel is perfect for you. Again, a bad reason to get in a committed relationship. Make sure it is about you and your partner, and that you are in love and compatible with each other.
You are just tired of being alone. Well, technically it may sound like a good reason to get into a serious relationship, but doing so simply because you are lonely is a bad idea. Why? Because you will settle for anyone that comes along and even when there the red flags are there loud and clear you will subconsciously ignore them and make excuses as to why getting involved with this person is the right plan. Remember that people can show you just what they think you want to see. Then when you fall head over heels for them their true colors start to show and sometimes you are so far gone that you continue to find excuses why you should stay. All this time you are mucho unhappy.